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Tuesday, September 25 12:00 AM EDT

Signs Mr. Spock Doesn't Like You

11. He uses you as a guinea pig for the new, more painful Vulcan nerve pinch.
10. Always keeps giving you the "angry eyebrow" treatment.
9. Lately, after saying "Live Long And Prosper," he gives you a nasty look and mumbles something that sounds a lot like "except you, you bastard."
8. Keeps asking you to put on your red shirt when accompanying him on away teams.
7. He and Dr. McCoy start pointing and giggling at you while you're conversing with the Captain.
6. He keeps giving Scotty incorrect coordinates so you beam down next to hostile aliens.
5. He doesn't need to get high on spores to punch you in the face.
4. Won't use Vulcan mind meld to save you from the alien, decides beaming up and leaving you behind would be more logical.
3. Keeps making "I've got my eyes on you" sign at you behind Kirk's back.
2. He tells you it's highly illogical even before you've started to speak.
1. He uses the other Vulcan salute. The one with only one finger.

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