I grew up in Sweden. My Mom would tell me I had to make my bed then she would hand me a few plywood boards, a packet of screws and an Allen wrench.

I bought one of those robot dogs and I take him for walks. It's great! I don't need a pooper-scooper, I just use a magnet on a stick.

I filled my car’s air bags with helium to make it lighter and more fuel efficient.

I only punch in prime numbers into my microwave, The food doesn't cook evenly, but I have my roommates thinking I have OCD.

I wish that Star Trek:TOS was rated R, because I would have loved to hear Bones say, "I'm a fucking doctor Jim, not an alien sexologist."

I think gamers should lay down their weapons in-game in a world-wide gesture of peace. Also, it would make it easier for me to kill them.

I think engineers should make seat belts out of elastic material, because then accidents would look more like a cartoon, except with more blood.