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Tuesday, November 25 12:00 AM EDT

Geek Tips for Black Friday

11. Give other shoppers unsolicited bad advice on what to buy  so they don't get what you're after.
10. Convince a group of Nigerians to do your shopping for you.
9. Practice by playing The Sims: Shopping Spree Insanity.
8. Hire Tron guy to distract people while you cut in line.
7. Wear a powered exoskeleton and fling people out of the way.
6. Reanimate leftovers from Thanksgiving and set zombie turkeys loose in the store (remember to carry zombie repellent).
5. Hang out at the stores just to study the entropy.
4. Tell people they're giving Linux away free in the store next door.
3. Hack into newspaper servers and raise prices on all Black Friday advertisements.
2. Just shop on Cyber Monday to avoid all social interaction.
1. Wear a blue polo shirt and beige khakis then just go in the back and get it yourself.

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