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Thursday, April 30 12:00 AM ET

Star Wars in Verse

By Scott Small


A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away
A lord of the Sith named Darth Vader, one day
Absconded a ship as he searched for a plan
And he captured the Princess of Alderaan
But a message was sent with a droid who's no dope
To General Kenobi, he's our only hope

The droid and his pal on the planet did land
And sadly discovered it's covered with sand
The droids were soon captured by roving Jawas
Who turned a quick profit with a sale to old Lars
Lars gave his nephew the droids that he bought
While Luke cleaning them, the message did spot

Luke went to sleep and Artoo did run
In search of old Ben (aka Obi-Wan)
Luke and the bot hopped into the speeder,
They located Artoo and a Tuskan Raider
The raiders they frighten easily, it's said
So back to Obi-Wan's place they all sped

There Obi told Luke all about The Force
And how he knew his father, Anakin, of course
He gave Luke a lightsaber that belonged to his dad
And watched the whole message that Artoo had had

So back to the Skywalker ranch they did head
And enroute found the Jawas, all of them dead
Sand People are smart and show us their guile
To hide their numbers, they walk single file
But the tracks near the Jawas are Sand People bloopers
And Obi deduces they were made by Stormtroopers
From Jawas these droids Lars had earlier bought
And that then led Luke to a terrible thought

He jumped in his speeder to race 'cross the plains
Back to the farm where the smoldering remains
Of his uncle and aunt lay charred on the ground
But the troopers who did it were not to be found
He grieved for a while, then prepared for a trip
To Spaceport Mos Eisley to procure him a ship

The town was swarming, the troopers were thick
But Obi got past them with a Jedi mind trick
A wait at the bar almost meant Luke some harm
But Obi stepped in then to cut off an arm
They met with a Wookiee who was dying of thirst
And his partner Han Solo who always shoots first

Together they banded, but Luke's heart, it sunk
For the ship that they hired, he thought it was junk
Despite young Luke's protest, the deal had been done
For a ship eighteen parsecs had the Kessel Run
So aboard they all climbed to escape the empire
When troopers found them, they dodged blaster fire

Escape though, they did, their luck growing thin
And Artoo, at chess, let the Wookiee win
Toward Alderaan the Falcon sped on it's flight
While Luke practiced arts of the Jedi Knight

On the Deathstar, the princess refusing to talk
Was tortured and thrown in to a cell block
Now all of this stubborn behavior it seems
Meant Alderaan got blasted to smithereens
Such was an act of unspeakable violence
That billions cried out, followed by silence
And Obi Wan felt a disturbance of Force
But he did not know Alderaan was the source

So when the Falcon jumped back into space
Nothing but rubble was there in its place
Spotting a small moon they sensed their salvation
But that was no moon, it was a space station
Fought though they may, they were still tractored in
But the ship was a smuggler's with compartments hidden

Our heroes, aboard, now snuck undetected
But Obi Wan's presence Darth Vader suspected
Off of the ship they slipped in disguise
Even though Luke was not the right size
In their bid to escape they came to discover
The princess was there that they came to recover

With Obi Wan gone to lower the force field
To the cell block our heroes went, identities concealed
With a Wookiee faux-prisoner they went to their fate
To rescue the princess in cell eleven three eight
But Han's inability to think on his feet
Meant that our heroes had to retreat

The princess saw routes of escape were a factor
And ordered them into the garbage compactor
The walls started closing and they called out for aid
Threepio thought they're all doomed, I'm afraid
When over the com came such fearsome cries
But Artoo had managed to prevent their demise

Back at the ship now they'd all rendezvous
But cover now blown, Stormtroopers pursue
Obi and Darth met as if it were fate
And Luke seeing this decided to wait

Obi Wan warned Vader that he could never win
Obi became more powerful than you can imagine
When Darth struck his blow there was nothing there
The old Jedi master had vanished into thin air

Back on the Falcon, they made their get away
But Vader was tracking them, to their dismay
At the rebel base, they drew up their plan
To take out the Deathstar, except for old Han
Who took his money and gathered his things
Han wouldn't be fighting beside the X-Wings

Red Leader: Gold Leader, I'm taking on fire
Just a bit closer is the target to acquire
Then Tie Fighters scream as they close for the kill
The Empire's pilots have the superior skill

Only three pilots left, led by young Luke
That it's all up to him, cannot be a fluke
Then one of his wing men is blown away
The second one's damaged and cannot stay

Now Luke's all alone to follow the course
And Darth senses he is strong with the force
It's Darth in his fighter versus our hero
On Luke, his target he is starting to zero
With a boisterous cry, Han joins in the fight
And sends Darth Vader spinning into the night

No obstacles in sight, Luke turns off the computer
And relies on The Force to guide him as shooter
His eyes closed, he fires, his missile does zoom
And the Deathstar's destroyed with an epic KA-BOOM!

They gave them all medals and the Wookiee some soap
And thus ends Ep 4: a tale of new hope.

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