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Tuesday, May 12 12:00 AM EDT

Reasons a Terminator Makes a Good Pet

11. If it ever runs away you can be sure that it'll be back.
10. More socially acceptable than zombies
9. Much better at math than a dog.
8. No archaic laws about having sex with it.
7. Built in Xbox 360 emulator a money saver.
6. Can protect you against the frakkiin' toasters.
5. "Destroy" is a much better trick than "Sit."
4. Instead of annoying barking or meowing, you get memorable quotes.
3. That dick John Connor will no longer bother you at recess.
2. Alimony payments mysteriously disappear.
1. Free wifi.

Story Options:

This one goes to 11.

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