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Tuesday, May 26 12:00 AM EDT

Signs You've Had Too Much Coffee

11. Scientists are using your bloodstream to collide particles until the LHC is fixed.
10. Andy Dick tells you to calm down.
9. You haven't blinked in 4 hours.
8. Drug dealers hide their drugs inside you to throw off the dogs.
7. You have sudden urge to ride a donkey in the mountains of Colombia.
6. Your urine is black and tarry.
5. Those 16-hour shifts feel like 8-hour ones.
4. People rub up against you to stay awake.
3. Bugs die after biting you.
2. You've tweeted 200 times in the last minute, and used all 140 characters each time.
1. The vampires are bouncing off the walls.

Story Options:

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