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Wednesday, June 24 12:00 AM ET

Steve Jobs is Still Alive

By Brian Briggs - follow me @


I'm not singing in this one, so you don't have to be scared to press play.

Thanks to Francisco Rangel and Scott Small for help on the lyrics. Thanks to Max DeGroot of for recording the song, and Rob Balder of for his help.

Song as MP3 file.


First was the wood one
And then there was
Lisa and the Mac
And please don't underestimate the iPod
Apple Computers

We rake in the cash as best we can
We think we're doing pretty well, 'til good ol' Steve-o is dead
But there's no sense selling all your company stake
Until Steve is choking on a piece of cheesecake
To your broker you run, and you get the deals done
Then you'll find out that Steve's still alive

You're not reinvesting
You are controlled by fear right now
After you read his obituary
But it was retracted
But not really quick enough by far
As you read it hurt, because he was a hero to you
Now the stocks are dropping, yes, they're on the decline
There's no need to worry because everything's fine
But I'm glad you got burned
Think of all the cash we earned, because I know that Steve's still alive

Please Steve don't leave me
Now who would we turn to if you did?
Who could ever possibly replace you?
Maybe Steve Ballmer
That was a joke, ha ha, fat chance
Anyway this iPhone's great, and there's just so many apps
Look at you downloading all these songs from iTunes
Now you're really glad you didn't buy a brown Zune
I'll be having lots of fun, making money by the ton
For the master who is still alive

And believe me that he's still alive
He's wearing turtlenecks and still alive
He's thinking different and he's still alive
While you're buying he'll be still alive
And when you're broke he will be still alive
Still alive
Still alive

If you have any questions, comments or suggestions please send them to me at Thanks.

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