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Top 11 Other iPhone 4 Issues

11. Voice-cancelling microphone a really bad idea.
10. Notches in side prone to causing tears in rectal tissue.
9. Acclerometer keeps getting stuck on the carpet and runs the phone into walls.
8. It'll explode when thrown at a Pinto.
7. Face-tracking laser burns holes through eyebrows.
6. Keeps texting taunts to iPhone 3GS owners without your knowledge.
5. Touchscreen rubs off toxic levels of smug.
4. Extended battery life comes at the expense of draining your health.
3. Retina display causing burn-in in the back of people's retinas.
2. Oleophobic screen makes breading fall off when trying to deep fry your iPhone.
1. Proximity sensor lets out a loud beeping sound if you start walking backward.

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