Geek Horoscopes

Geek Horoscopes

Apr 20 – May 20
You’ll discover that you can build a small shelter with all of boxes from the board games you bought. You’ll also discover that you probably should’ve paid your rent instead of getting the latest Wingspan expansion.

May 21 – June 21
Your idea for a comic about the League of Extraordinary Spellers gets rejected again. This time by your mom.

June 22 – July 22
You finally are successful in lobbying the Astrological Association of America to change the name of your sign to tuberculosis.

July 23 – Aug 22
You will watch more content on your 6″ phone screen this week than your 75″ TV to avoid dealing with your family.

Aug 23 – Sep 22
Bad News: You can’t generate geek horoscopes using AI, because it’s not funny. Good News: You still have a job.

Sep 23 – Oct 23
This week you will discover that sharing Geek Horoscopes on social media improves your social standing and raises your IQ.
Oct 24 – Nov 21
You will finally remember the difference between nihilism and existentialism only to realize it doesn’t matter.

Nov 22 – Dec 21
You will accidentally click on a link that destroys your perfectly curated news recommendations, and you’re never able to recover.

Dec 22 – Jan 19
You’ll discover that he sandwich artists at Subway are not interested in knowing the number of sandwich permutations they can create with their ingredients.

Jan 20 – Feb 18
You were disappointed Covid didn’t result in a zombie apocalypse, but the stars say to never give up hope.

Feb 19 – Mar 20
You will spend more time than you expected making AI ChatBots talk to each other this week.

Mar 21 – Apr 19
You’ll spend too much time this week contemplating if the word dwarf comes from the mythological creatures or if the mythological creatures are short because an existing word.

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