Geek Horoscopes

Geek Horoscopes

Aries
Mar 21 – Apr 19
You discover the perils of infinite scrolling when you wake up in the year 2250. You’re still alive which is good, but you’re the only one which is also good.

Taurus
Apr 20 – May 20
You become worried about all the recent bank failures only to remember you lost all your money arbitraging toilet paper during the pandemic.

Gemini
May 21 – June 21
Your cybersecurity training lets you down during the cyborg apocalypse. Your really shouldn’t have skipped that day.

Cancer
June 22 – July 22
You realize that you’ve spent more time buying games during Steam sales than actually playing any games. Wait, the Spring Sale is on now?

Leo
July 23 – Aug 22
The stars say that avoiding Covid for three years is an amazing feat, but it would be even more amazing if you left the house once during that time.

Virgo
Aug 23 – Sep 22
You come to the realization that you made better content with your Star Wars action figures as a child, than Disney has since they acquired the franchise.
Libra
Sep 23 – Oct 23
You roll a nat 20 on your persuasion roll. Unfortunately, the police officer is still writing you a ticket.

Scorpio
Oct 24 – Nov 21
You be startled to discover that Google’s new AI bot was created using all the data it collected from you over the years. Now everyone can tap into your wisdom, and that’s scary.

Sagittarius
Nov 22 – Dec 21
Your preparations for the upcoming PC release of The Last of Us gets you in trouble with the local mushrooming club. They just don’t understand how dangerous fungi can be.

Capricorn
Dec 22 – Jan 19
You’ll suspect that Hollywood has reached the bottom of the barrel after Netflix announces it’s releasing a series of movies in the Centipede Cinematic Universe with tracball for added realism.

Aquarius
Jan 20 – Feb 18
You make the mistake of opening your Tik Tok in front of your family, and they discover your penchant for Leia slave girl cosplay.

Pisces
Feb 19 – Mar 20
Everyone will love your take on AI putting people out of work. Unfortunately, it’s just a bunch of discord bots.

This Post Has One Comment

  1. dar

     🎯  will hoist a pint to this BB post…cheers

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