Silverthorne, CO - After a marathon closed door session with God,
atheist Herman Morison remains unconvinced of God's existence. God
still believes he exists. Both parties agreed to meet until
their issues are resolved.
"I'm prepared to meet with Herman until he's convinced," said
God, "Or until he dies on December 3rd, 2024."
Both participants noted that
progress was made, but more work still needs to be done.
"It was a pretty good meeting, but I still have a few unanswered
questions," said Herman, "I asked him 'What did the carnivores
eat on Noah's ark?' and he said 'that was a long time ago' and mumbled
something about the flood thing being blown all out of proportion. God
will have to do better than that if he plans on convincing me."
God was more upbeat. "I really think we made some progress," said
God, "I could sense him leaning towards believing after I turned
him into Charo then into a coffee maker." God also stated
that even though Mr. Morison posed some pretty tough questions, he
remains steadfast in the belief of his own existence.
"He did some pretty cool tricks," said Herman, "like
making the universe disappear and reversing the flow of time, but
for all I know he could've had me hypnotized or something. Imagine
how dumb I'd feel if I said 'I believe in God' only to find out later
that I was just in a trance."
When asked why he didn't just strike Herman down, God just smiled
and said, "Violence is not a solution. Anyway, he's gonna burn
in hell for all eternity, so why do I care?"
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