North Pole - Santa announced the organization of a special Elf Tribunal
that would determine the naughtiness or niceness of Osama bin Laden
and his Al Qaeda Terrorist network. The Reindeer Council opposes
the move believing that Santa is overstepping his authority.
has gone too far," said Blitzen, "He's used major events
like the Cabbage Patch Kid craze to consolidate his power. Santa
is making a mockery of the North Pole judicial system."
The Reindeer Council see bin Laden as a freedom fighter. The elves
are part of the North Pole Alliance who are at odds with bin Laden
and are likely to find him Naughty.
Santa said, "It's within my power to set up the Elf Tribunal.
This is the North Pole and I'm Santa, dammit. I can do as I please.
Those reindeer are just pissed since I broke the union in 1986."
The last Elf Tribunal convened during the OJ Simpson trial and ruled
that OJ had been naughty. Mr. Simpson received a lump of coal in
Chief Counsel for the elves, Binter, said, "Elf justice is
swift and sweet. If Osama's been naughty then we will have no remorse.
I don't see coal in his stocking this year. I see a MISSILEtoe® heading
From a cave near Kandahar, Osama said "This miscarriage of
justice will not go unpunished. Snowballs of destruction will fall
on the North Pole. I feel I don't have a chance of proving my goodness
with an elf tribunal and I really had my heart set on that GI Joe
Chemical Warfare Playset."
Other members of the Al Qaeda terrorist network said that being
Muslim they didn't celebrate Christmas and were unfairly entered
on the Naughty list.
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