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Wednesday, November 4 12:01 AM EST

BBspot Mailbag

Now you too can enjoy my Inbox without the annoying spam. Every week I get some amazing e-mail. Some amazing because of the sheer cluelessness of the sender, some because of the time and energy that went into crafting them and some are just simply amazing.


It must be because BBspot is #1 for "Can you hear me now guy" on Google...

From: Robert
Sent: Sunday, November 02, 2003 9:49 PM
Subject: Brain tumor

Is it true that the "can-you-hear-me-now" guy has a brain tumor? Is that just a joke? What is his name?

I responded that it was just a joke and got this response....

From: robert brooks
Sent: Monday, November 03, 2003 9:06 AM
To: Brian Briggs
Subject: RE: Brain tumor

Thank you!

But you didn't tell me his name. Is it a secret?

Yes, only I know the Verizon guy's name...

From: Intern 1
Sent: Thursday, October 30, 2003 6:46 PM
Subject: Verizon Guy

I just read your article. I was wondering if you knew what the Verizon guys actual name is. We are looking for him, because we want to see if he can attend a celebrity event we are having in December. If you know his name and how I can get in contact with his people, please get back to me at this address. Thank you and hope to hear from you soon.

Aren't you people paying attention? I'm NOT TELLING!

Another reader wants some Nigerian millions. I'm tempted to set up an e-mail address to screw with their heads...

From: Yolanda
Sent: Wednesday, October 29, 2003 9:51 PM
Subject: Eseman Ayele Article

The above article was sent to me by a friend and I will like any type of forwarding information, like and email address, mailing address etc. in order to contact Eseman Ayele.

Thank you.

Looks like we had a false positive in last week's Mailbag, but I'll let you be the judge...

From: Kelcey
Sent: Wednesday, October 29, 2003 9:20 PM
Subject: Neo Het

I thought I should have clarified in my 1st email. I AM NOT A BELIEVER. I was just wondering if you had gotten it from something obscure in the movie or not. I know better, I visit BBspot daily.

Too Much Time on My Hands

As predicted last time, here are some better Excel formulas for calculating the time until the end of the week...

From: Tofer
Sent: Wednesday, October 29, 2003 2:35 PM
Subject: You asked for it

Here's one of your three improvements to the "time until the weekend" formula. Enjoy!


Long time listener, first time caller.


Sent: Wednesday, October 29, 2003 5:12 AM
Subject: Time Until Weekend

quoting from this weeks mailbag:

> I'm sure there is a way to do it without the ugly IF() function.

> The funny thing is that three more people will e-mail me with
corrections and more efficient formulas.

Correct on both accounts, although I bet you'll have more than just 3
emails on this subject :)

Anyway, a nicer, cleaner formula without an ugly IF is simply:

just adding up the days till friday and whatever's left until 5pm today

the suggested cell format is again [h]:mm and if the formula displays
#####, you should not be in the office. It's not a bug, it's a feature....
##### is visually much more impressive than 0:00 :)

Well done.

The Refrigerator

Now here's a guy who used the Internet to save some money on home repairs, unlike my refrigerator debacle...

From: Bryan Wallace
Sent: Thursday, October 30, 2003 3:46 PM
Subject: THANKS

My washing machine broke down yesterday while I was at work. I, being the lazy yuppie that I am, called a repairman to come fix it. Total cost: $40. I was unsure if I could ever look my wife in the eyes again because she now knew just how useless I am around the house. Your ice maker story has vindicated my laziness and renamed it as "frugality". Thank you so much for this great service.

Mr Fix It

Geek Horoscopes Foretell

For those who doubt the abilities of our geek astrologer take a look at the most recent Geek Horoscope for Libra then read Zack's e-mail...

Sep 23 - Oct 23
The computer problems you are having are definitely the hard drive and NOT the mother board.
(Brought to you by Asus)

From: Zack
Sent: Friday, October 31, 2003 7:38 PM
Subject: This week's Geek Horoscopes

I never thought much of the geek horoscopes until this week's edition. I'm a Libra and I've been having problems with the serial ATA RAID array on my Asus motherboard and the system just keeps getting more screwed up as I try to fix it. I e-mailed Asus tech support about the problem and they suggested that it was, lo and behold, not the motherboard. The funny thing it that it actually is a mobo problem. Absolutely amazing, you are truly gifted.

There have been too many coincidences, for it to be coincidental.

That's all for this week!

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