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Wednesday, February 18 12:00 AM EST

BBspot Mailbag

Now you too can enjoy my Inbox without the annoying spam. Every week I get some amazing e-mail. Some amazing because of the sheer cluelessness of the sender, some because of the time and energy that went into crafting them and some are just simply amazing.

Kessel Run

The Kessel Run debate shows up in many places on BBspot, so it was bound to generate some e-mail...

From: Devin
Sent: Thursday, February 12, 2004 3:59 AM

Revisionists can explain away all they want, but as has been clearly established several places, Kessel is a planet, which produces a drug, and the Kessel Run is a smuggling run. Han Solo is a smuggler, not a drag racer. Eleven parsecs? I'm willing to pretend that's time. Or else maybe he found a shortcut. But who cares, really?

I couldn't agree more.


The educational power of BBspot continues to amaze and astound...

From: David
Sent: Friday, February 06, 2004 10:37 AM
To: ''
Subject: (U) Thank You

I would like to officially thank BBspot for adding the word "Panspermia" to my vocabulary. My life is now richer and more fulfilled. I enthusiastically look forward to my opportunities to "drop" that word into a regular conversation around the "water tank", or during a smoke break.

I would also like to propose that this word be given an award of some kind, for being one of the more likely words to be mistaken for a sexual meaning. How many words out there have "sperm" in them?

Before sending this e-mail, it is important to note that Bill Gates may not be a proponent of perspermia (say that 10 times real fast). My Microsoft spellchecker does not recognize the word.

Smart Guy

One reader tries to correct a common misconception that I posted in the poll...

From: Tom
Sent: Friday, February 06, 2004 2:20 PM
To: ''
Subject: Lowest Average Intelligence poll

Hey I'm a VB programmer..... We are too samrt smart, and we can CapAtalize just fine. We are real programmers darn it, we are, we are, we are...

Left Handed Mouse

A couple people responded to my post in the BBlog about my switch to left-handed mousing...

From: Nancy
Sent: Thursday, February 05, 2004 10:13 PM
Subject: Left Handed

Just wanted to say hang in there with the left handed mouse. I did the same swap for the same reason almst 10 years ago and still mouse exclusively left handed today. I used to get a sore right shoulder, elbow and hand but have never had any problems on the left. And no, it doesn't take 10 years to become proficient. Playing games like minesweeper is good for improving dexterity (it only takes a few clicks on the wrong square to really motivate you to improve)

Plus you get to freak out people who try to use your computer, especially if the mouse buttons are swapped too.

Ergonomic keyboard, wireless, left-handed mouse with swapped buttons, have made me incompatible with all other computer systems in this house. I wonder if that means I don't have to do support for them any more.

From: William
Sent: Friday, February 06, 2004 2:10 PM
Subject: Left Handed

need i say more

My own stories coming back to haunt me. See #1.

Future BBspot Writer

SCO Group Purchases Evil from Microsoft

by Alex "Silicon" Lyman

The SCO Group, after four months of negotiation, has announced a $2.4 billion deal with Microsoft's Board of Directors, for the full rights to all Evil.

"Last fall we released our plans to pre-emptively kill potential Intellectual-Property-infringing Linux users, and Microsoft promptly slapped us with a license audit." said SCO's CEO Darl McBride. "So, we just asked if we could just buy the whole durn thing." McBride continued.

"Really, we feel this is just a culmination of events; we're bringing back Evil into the indirect control of Satan, where it just seems to work better." said Ralph Yarro, Chairman and the Head of Satanic Affairs for SCO.

"We just didn't believe the market had our company in interest anymore, with Bill being made a Defender of the Faith and all," said Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer. Chairman Bill Gates declined to comment on Microsoft's announced "Evil Everywhere" product line has ended.

Microsoft bought the rights to Evil in first-quarter 2000, when Satan, the inventor of Evil and founder and CEO of Evil on Earth Enterprises, was looking for a buyer. Satan was unavailable for comment, but demons close to the immortal being say he will not challenge the transfer of rights.

SCO, or The Satanic Cultists' Operation Group, was founded in 1979, as a front for Evil on Earth Enterprises, and was the only Satan-backed company not merged during the 2000 acquisition by Microsoft; Microsoft cited mutual dislike of each other's code then, but has since bonded with the company based on their common goal of evil everywhere.

Microsoft was formerly involved in a legal disputes with former Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden, both set to go to hearing early next year, for alleged use of Evil with pirated licenses. SCO has said they will continue in those pursuits, but has requested a delay in the hearings, due to its many other legal fronts in progress at the moment. The Department of Justice declined comment until the request could be reviewed.

Microsoft was also believed to be investigating the feasibility of seeing the United States Government for alleged use of Evil during their War on Terrorism; but both Microsoft and SCO declined comment on that issue.

That's all for this week!

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