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Thursday, February 12 12:00 AM EST

Lucas Reveals Changes for Star Wars DVDs

By Nikolaj Borg

San Rafael, CA - After keeping fans waiting for years, George Lucas has announced the first Star Wars trilogy will be released on DVD.

Emperor Jar JarBut the release will be worth the wait, Lucas guaranteed. “This time around, we’ve made the perfect movies, hands down. Finally, I’ve created the movies that I originally imagined.”

It is no secret that Lucas was never satisfied with the original trilogy, mostly because of the technical limitations at the time. The “Special Editions” improved on this, but it is finally now, with the third and definitively final versions, that the trilogy is complete.

Much work has been done to fix some mistakes about Han Solo. “For some reason, Han was portrayed as a rogue in the original versions. That was never intended,” Lucas explained. “We’ve been doing some work to show him as the true hero that he is. For instance, we’ve put in a scene where he saves some cute puppies and kittens from a runaway landspeeder.”

“I’ve also added a new scene that clears up the whole ‘Kessel Run – parsec’ debate. It adds about fifteen minutes of exposition by a couple of patrons in the bar about how a shorter distance determined the winner of the Kessel Run race. It slows the pace down, but I think that will make it fit in better with Episodes I through III,” explained Lucas.

However, it is the Emperor who has received the most attention in the editing. “Back when we made Star Wars, we just couldn’t make him as evil as we intended. Now, thanks to the miracles of technology, it is finally possible. As Episode III will show, Senator Palpatine won’t become the emperor. He is merely the puppet of the true mastermind.”

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Lucas will not only manage to tie the two trilogies together but also bring the most popular character of the new trilogy into the old one. “It was Jar-Jar all along. It was he who controlled the events on Naboo, and we saw him controlling the Senate after he lured Amidala away in Episode II. And as Anakin’s ‘friend’ he is the only one capable of turning him in Episode III. I apologize if I am spoiling the movie for you, but I believe that most of you knew already. After all, despite all his lovability, everyone knows that he is a being of pure evil.”


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