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Wednesday, February 25 12:00 AM EST

BBspot Mailbag

Now you too can enjoy my Inbox without the annoying spam. Every week I get some amazing e-mail. Some amazing because of the sheer cluelessness of the sender, some because of the time and energy that went into crafting them and some are just simply amazing.

Kessel Run

I'm not posting any of the messages I received this week trying to explain to me about the Kessel Run. I thought I have been clear about this issue, but obviously I have not. Yes, I understand how the statement could be correct, but these explanations were created after the mistake. Since, so many people have e-mailed the explanations it only proves my point even more: That some people just can't accept the fact that Lucas made a mistake.


If you have to explain the joke then it loses its humor value. Such was the case with the evolution BBlooper that was posted last week. I received so many e-mails I have to respond. If you got the joke then you can just skip this one...

From: Edward
Sent: Wednesday, February 18, 2004 6:42 PM
Subject: bblooper -

what's circled in this bblooper is the evolution story and the 8 million year old whale story. The highlighted text is The earth is only 4,000 years old. Ooops, sorry.

I don't see the blooper..
1) GA is a stupid southern state so banning evolution curriculum would be no surprise.
2) "The generally accepted age for the Earth and the rest of the solar system is about 4.55 billion years " from

Neither of these seem like screw ups to me.

Yes, neither are actual screw ups. However, many creationists (like the kind who want to ban evolution in schools) believe the world to be anywhere from 4,000-10,000 years old. Thus, the juxtaposition of a story about banning evolution and a fossil that is eight million years is humorous. See, it's not funny any more.

Danger to Society

Offended by the BBspot Poll? There's a first for everything...

From: Mark
Sent: Tuesday, February 17, 2004 7:22 PM
Subject: Problem with your poll

I am terribly hurt by your latest poll (danger to society). I noticed that "People named Mark" is an option and to add insult to injury it (currently) ranks third. As a "Mark" I find this deeply offensive. I try my hardest to bring down society and this is the thanks I get. On the plus side I think this is as close to a celebrities breast I'll ever be able to get, on the down side it's a Jackson's.

I promise to try harder in the future

Hour Lost

This is in reply to our recent Area Matron Prefers Internet Over Web story...

From: Jeff
Sent: Monday, February 16, 2004 5:29 PM
To: Brian Briggs
Subject: On a related note...

I once tried explaining to my mom (who's 55) that the Sun is only just a star, like the others that we can see in the sky at night. I spent some time on this, and I'm not completely sure she even believed me, even less understood what I was talking about.

Banned in the USA

I guess these following e-mails are a sign of the growing popularity of BBspot...

From: III
Sent: Monday, February 16, 2004 11:31 AM
Subject: Congratulations!

BBspot has made it to the list of blocked websites at my company. Previously this honor was limited to sites like (who posted an internal memo about layoffs at my company at one point), but now apparently someone with not nearly enough work to do (how this guy survived the many, MANY layoffs we have had here is anyone's guess) has decided that BBspot takes enough company time to be added to the list.

I've been a reader of BBspot for years now and don't plan on letting this stop me, but it sucks that I can't start my day with it like I used to. Anyway, congratulations!


From: Dave
Sent: Monday, February 16, 2004 4:54 PM
Subject: bbspot banned

Love your site. I used to read it every day at work (while compiling my code of course). For some reason your site has been blacklisted by my company - XXXXXX, a pretty darn big defense contractor with around 70,000 employees.

I'm thinking that we had too may people checking the latest satire and overloading our crappy web servers. Guess I'll have to spend my compile time reading the latest corporate propaganda, and check bbspot from home.

Thankfully, my employer still let's me surf the site.

Future BBspot Writer

Website Owner Sued for Ugly Picture
By Jonathan Hickman

Farmington Hills, MI - Humor web site operator Brian Briggs was stunned late Wednesday afternoon after being notified that he was to meet in the Farmington Hills City Hall for allegations that a picture on his website caused irreversible emotional and mental damage to Alice Joyce, a soon-to-be mother of two living in the same city, and Ben Farrior, an octogenarian within Buffalo, New York.

Ugly Kid Bri"I would occasionally visit the web site because the content is quite funny," said Joyce. "However, when I looked to the right of the page, I made a frightening discovery."

With a trembling voice, she continued to described the ordeal. "I looked into his eyes, and I just began vomiting. It was truly the most horrible thing I had ever seen." Within minutes, she was rushed to the emergency room of a local hospital where she almost had a miscarriage.

This would be the first time that a single image on the Internet, apart from those featuring celebrities with nipples exposed, has caused such controversy. Farrior also related the negative reaction he had to the image. "At first, I'd thought I'd seen the devil himself. And then I realized it was [Brian Briggs]. I grabbed my heart because it stopped beating for a moment and immediately ran to the restroom. After 8 hours and 3 rolls of toilet paper, I knew it was something that needed to be stopped." Farrior then burst into tears.

The question arose as to whether the web site owner, Briggs, could be held responsible for the reaction of people to his picture, but as the tension mounts, more people are signing a petition acknowledging the negative effects the picture has had on them. Robert Jones, a lawyer in Idaho, addressed the concerns of the people involved by offering a class action lawsuit against Briggs.

Briggs was not available for comment.

If you feel that you have been negatively affected by this image, you may be entitled to punitive damages. Please contact the hotline (long distance charges may apply) at 866-UGLY-WEB.

That's all for this week!

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