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Wednesday, June 9 12:00 AM ET

BBspot Mailbag

Now you too can enjoy my Inbox without the annoying spam. Every week I get some amazing e-mail. Some amazing because of the sheer cluelessness of the sender, some because of the time and energy that went into crafting them and some are just simply amazing.


Even with the extra warning, the lure of free money keeps reeling them in...

From: jenni
Sent: Thursday, June 03, 2004 9:32 PM
Subject: I got the email

hi there, well I got the email and sent it out with the rubbish, believeing it to be a prank.

although at the same time wanting desperately to respond to it..... you see, i have had a huge fight with kidney disease and cancer this past three years and the aftermath of debt is literally killing me.......... so you can see why I wanted to take the guy up on his offer, but was somewhat reluctant too as I was not sure of where it may lead........ if he is still offering, to help me out of this mess, which is car and credit card..... the car I bought just three months before coming ill, I then got a credit card, three in fact.... as I was working and knew what I may be heading in for, so I got the cards and used them over the next three years to survive.... but now, I have no job, am okay, need more radiation they tell me in sept. but I think not, it is deadly....... the amount I need to clear my debt is a lot it is $78,000.00 au. the car has no equity which would be sold if it did, that is a certainty.

at least three times a week i phone the creditors to say, yes I can pay this much.. the car is due to be repossessed, I have saved it twice........ but do not think I can again.... nice car too.. should have kept my tweny year bomb in hind sight, isn't hind sight a great thing.....

I am a nice person, in my fourties......I have always worked very hard, never had my own home, too late for that now, but when something like this happens unexpectedly it certainly does rock the foundation on which we stand.... especially when we have no finances to fall back on........

shame isn't it that I did not take that guy up on his offer..... too late now.........

Maybe I'll stop by and give her a few bucks when I'm in Oz.

From: bill
Sent: Friday, May 28, 2004 6:32 PM

Dear Brian,
Is this for real? It was sent to me on the internet and I could use some money as we are on s.s. and my husband is disabled. We are having a hard time making ends meet. It said billionaire Esenam Ayele is a philanthropist.
Thank You,

No, it's not for real. Weren't the three disclaimers not enough for you?

Geek Corrections

What separates geeks from other people is that when a geek sees a mistake, no matter how trivial, he can't resist correcting it. Write for geeks and...

Sent: Wednesday, May 26, 2004 1:55 PM
Subject: Article: "God Creates Universe in Seven Days, Perl Gods Not Impressed"

Hi Brian!

Concerning your article, "God Creates Universe in Seven Days, Perl Gods Not Impressed", just FYI, God created the universe in SIX days according to the Bible in Genesis chapter 1, verse 31 through chapter 2, verse 2:

God saw all that He had made, and behold, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day. Thus the heavens and the earth were completed, and all their hosts. By the seventh day God completed His work which He had done, and He rested on the seventh day from all His work which He had done.

I must have a different version of the book.

The next one cums from the recent BBlooper about a new game...

From: Jason
Sent: Thursday, June 03, 2004 11:10 AM
Subject: cum

You have probably already gotten this 100 times, but that was not a mistake on today's blooper.

cum1 ( P ) Pronunciation Key (km, km) prep. Together with; plus. Often used in combination: our attic-cum-studio.

Jason was right. I received this about a hundred times. All had the same cut-and-paste from Yes, I know it is technically not a mistake, but "cum shooter" is on a line all by itself. You'd have to have a very clean mind to read it in the way it was intended.

From: Me, Myself, & I
Sent: Saturday, June 05, 2004 1:24 PM
Subject: New Shooter BBlooper

Now THAT is funny! It is even more funny when you look at the title (gaming pleasures to come) of the New Shooter BBlooper and realize that the author chose to use "uncut" as part of the review. The more I see articles like this, the more I think that Freud was right. Maybe the author should have given in to his deep seated sexual frustrations and just called the review "CONKER: LIVE AND UNCIRCUMCISED - X-RATED"


Taunting Believers

Last week I received and e-mail asking how to reboot their computer. One reader had ideas on how I should respond...

From: Eric
Sent: Wednesday, May 26, 2004 11:55 AM
Subject: BBSpot Mailbag

"Please send me instruction on rebooting my computer

How do you reply to stuff like that?"

1. Turn off your computer
2. Turn your computer upside down
3. Locate the rubber feet ("boots") on the underside of your computer
4. Pry off the boots
5. Take the boots to your local electronics store and buy the closest match
6. Install the new boots on your computer
7. Turn the computer right side up
8. Turn the computer on
9. Your computer has now been rebooted

The next was for people that followed our advice and froze their hard drives...

From: Gary
Sent: Wednesday, May 26, 2004 12:45 PM
To: ''
Subject: HDD Cooling and your inbox

I'm just glad that you didn't have then cool it in gasoline. These dumb a$$es shouldn't be allowed to use a computer.

Cool it in gasoline? That should be next week's Lab.

Poll Complaints

From: John
Sent: Tuesday, June 01, 2004 8:16 AM
Subject: Polls and cultural referents

There's kind of a problem with many of the BBspot polls. They assume that the reader's version of geek culture includes movies, games consoles, or whatever. The meta-answer of "I should care?" would cater for this in most cases, but funnier answers specific to the subject are clearly possible for many of them:

"Most Likely to Suck" would be "Movies in general?"

"Favorite Video Chip Company" is an "I should care?", really, as is "Most Annoying Chat Abbreviation".

"Favorite Video Game Console" would be "Real computers"

"Most Annoying Star Trek Cliche": "people who think Star Trek Cliches are ever funny"

"Most Overused Star Wars Cliche": "people who use Star Wars Cliches instead of thinking"

Some of them are just fine:

"Most Self-Inportant"/"Satire Webmasters"
" Favorite Commandment"/"Thou shalt not vote"

Keep up the good work!

That's all for this week!

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