Top 11
Top 11 Things Geeks Would Do After Being Rescued from a Mine
How White and Nerdy Are You?
Bush Proposes Faith- Based Firewalls for Government Computers
Microsoft Purchases Evil From Satan
Slashdot Story Generator
Which OS Are You?
Teen Using MySpace to Lure Bands to Los Angeles
The BBook of Geek
Mental Floss
Geek Press
Wil Wheaton
Jonathan Coulton
Jokes Gallery
Funny Pictures
More Links

Monday, August 21 12:00 AM ET

Babies Banned from Flying

By Chris Jones

Washington, DC - Director of Homeland Security Michael Chertoff announced yesterday that because of an increase in disturbances aboard aircraft by unruly babies, all children under the age of three are now forbidden from flying. Anyone with a small child will be asked to either discard it or stow it in their checked bagged.

Dumpsters will be provided at security checkpoints for disposal. The new restriction also removes the breast milk and formula loophole in the current no liquids carry-on rule.

This change in airport security policy, effectively immediately, comes after a London-to- New York flight that was recently diverted to Washington D.C. after a 17-month old baby threw an hour-long temper tantrum. According to eyewitnesses, the suspect screamed for "num nums" and "juice juice" and then lost control when its guardians didn't comply quickly enough for its liking.

Related News

TSA Requiring Travelers to Empty Bladders Before Boarding Planes

Gates Announces Security Death Squads

MacGyver Foils Airport Security

The carnage culminated when an undercover air marshal took the suspect down as it tried to break into the pilot's cabin in a frantic obscenity-laden search for its "wee wee box". The child was taken into custody by authorities as soon as the plane landed and an investigation into possible al-Qaeda ties is pending.

Lawyers for the child or its guardians could not be reached for comment. An unnamed source close to the family said that while they are deeply sorry for the incident, they are glad to have the little terror taken off their hands. The anonymous insider further went to say that perhaps now they will be able to get a full night's sleep for a change.

More Tech News

Recommend this Story to a Friend

Follow on Twitter Follow Us on Twitter
Facebook Fan Us on Facebook
Amazon Find the BBook


  Politics Contact FAQs

Copyright 1999-2008 by BBspot LLC
BBspot is a satire news and comedy source and meant to be funny. If you are easily offended, gullible or don't have a sense of humor we suggest you go elsewhere.