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Tuesday, April 22 12:00 AM EDT

Things You Don't Want to Hear on a Tech Support Call with Mom and Dad

11. Your father was looking at porn again and spilled 'something' on the keyboard.
10. I want you to build me a new computer, but I still want to stick with Windows ME because I'm familiar with it.
9. My cronjob doesn't work but when I grep the error logs nothing's there. Do you think it has something to do with the kernel recompile I did last night?
8. The hard drive was squeaking, so I found this site that said you could grease the hard drive bearings, and now it doesn't work.
7. How long does it usually take for nigerian millionaires to send the money after you send them your bank account information?
6. My hairdresser told me it's something to do with hardbox memory.
5. Your brother tried to fix it and...
4. It seems to rattle a lot when I shake it really hard.
3. The keys don't type the proper letters anymore.
2. Your dad set the crackpipe on the keyboard and a few of the keys melted together. Do you think you could pick us up another one?
1. I clicked on the attachment and everything started acting funny.

Story Options:

This one goes to 11.

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