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Thursday, August 14 12:00 AM ET

Google Maps: Home Helps You Navigate in Unfamiliar Houses

By Jordan Baugher

Mountain View, CA - During a press conference held at the Googleplex, Google’s Product Manager Andrew Foster gave reporters a sneak preview of the latest development in Google Maps: Google Home.

“With Google Home, you can access floor plans and panoramic images of the inside of any house or apartment anywhere in the United States and most of England.  Imagine you’re at a party at a stranger’s house and need to find the bathroom, now you can just pop the address into your cell phone’s internet browser and get a map telling you where it is.”

Asked how Google was able to get into peoples’ homes to gather the data, Foster mumbled something about ‘recent developments in invisibility technology’ and said, “Did you guys watch House the other night?  He’s one zany doctor!”

Privacy advocates immediately attacked Google’s latest venture.  “It’s bad enough when they’re in your driveway,” said Tim Steele, president of Privacy for Americans, “now they could be anywhere: in your shower, digging around in your closet, maybe even looking at those plants in your basement that you’re just watching for a friend.”

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High-schooler Robbie Jones was more enthusiastic. “Now I don’t have to worry about throwing pebbles at the wrong window in the middle of the night to wake up my girlfriend.  I just use Google Homes and now I know exactly where she sleeps.  And where her dad hides the beer.”

When reporter Ed Randal asked Foster about potential lawsuits, Foster replied, “That’s a strange question from someone who likes to dress up in women’s clothes when nobody’s around.”

Google's stock was up on the news.

 

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