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Monday, September 29 12:00 AM ET

Palin Plan Includes Selling Banks on eBay

By Brian Briggs

Anchorage, AK – Republican vice-presidential nominee Sarah Palin revealed her plan to rescue the failing financial system in the United States part of which includes selling banks on eBay.

The McCain campaign hopes that the introduction of a plan will turn focus away from Palin's befuddling interviews to her financial rescue plan.

"As governor of Alaska I have lots of experience with selling things on eBay. By auctioning off banks on eBay we'll be using private resources instead of saddling taxpayers with more risk," said Palin.

The plan also includes moving to a beaver pelt and moose hoof based economy.  "When there's a lack of confidence in the government to back up their currency, it's time to move to a hard currency.  The full-faith backing of the United States government doesn't inspire the confidence that it once used to," the governor said.

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The plan is expected to gain quick support among Congressional republicans eager to lose as many seats possible in the upcoming election. The plan had provisions to help consumers having trouble with their mortgages by using a conversion ratio of one beaver pelt for every $100 in mortgage payments, so a typical consumer with $1000 mortgage payment would now need to send in ten beaver pelts each month.

Professional beaver trapper and Palin economic advisor Moosejaw Wilkins applauds the plan as revolutionary.  "I minored in economics at Juneau Community College and moving to a pelt-based economy would make us competitive in the global marketplace.  Only Canada would be able to match our beaver pelt producing abilities."

The Obama campaign refused to comment on the plan citing their inability to stop laughing.

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