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 Washington D.C. – Inspired by the Matrix trilogy of movies, Barack  Obama announced in a Monday press conference a new initiative that would tackle  both the current economic crisis and energy problems facing the United  States.    Obama said that he'll pump billions into expanding the  Matrix infrastructure.  "We've had  the technology since the early '80s, but we never had the national need to  implement it until now," said Obama.   "The machines had a great plan.   When people have run out of their unemployment benefits, instead of  adding them struggling to make ends meet we will plug them into the  Matrix.  We'll use them as a battery to  help power the national grid, and we don't have to count them as unemployed."
 Sources inside the administration said that Andy and Larry  Wachowski were on the short list for Secretaries of Energy and Treasury. The investment in infrastructure could have a short term  boost on the economy.  Unlike the movie  people could be removed from the Matrix when jobs become available, however,  most will probably choose not to.   Many early adopters were eager to volunteer to be plugged  into the system and already started lining up at newly opened Matrix centers at  unemployment offices.  "I feel it's  my patriotic duty to provide power and not be a burden to society," said  unemployed computer programmer William Smith. "Who knows, maybe I can have  a real life inside the Obamatrix." Sources indicate that congress maybe have to move quickly to pass legislation which would repeal the second law of thermodynamics.  Democrats, Republicans and cyborgs showed broad support for  the plan. |