BBspot


Archives
 
Top 11
Top 11 Things Geeks Would Do After Being Rescued from a Mine
Classics
How White and Nerdy Are You?
Bush Proposes Faith- Based Firewalls for Government Computers
Microsoft Purchases Evil From Satan
Slashdot Story Generator
Which OS Are You?
Teen Using MySpace to Lure Bands to Los Angeles
The BBook of Geek
Recommended
Fark
Mental Floss
Geek Press
Wil Wheaton
Jonathan Coulton
I-Mockery
Jokes Gallery
Funny Pictures
More Links

Elon Musk Announces He Will Be the Twitter Algorithm

By Brian Briggs filed Wednesday, January 18 8:00 PM ET

San Francisco, CA - Using technology from Neuralink Elon Musk announced that he would interface his brain with Twitter servers and become the algorithm. "The stack is beyond help, so this really is the only solution to save Twitter. My mind will determine what appears in everyone's timeline."

The move requires Musk to be physically attached to Twitter servers at all times using the Neuralink Brainalator 5000. This move would also require his brain to be cooled using a giant heat sink. "Let that sink in," said Musk.

Twitter has faced criticism over the years for bias in the algorithm which determines which tweets appear in user timelines. Many critics called for the algorithm to be exposed to public scrutiny.

"I am the algorithm now. I will expose myself," said Musk. "I'm the least biased person I know. My pronouns are Not and Biased."

The reaction to the news on Twitter was mixed. User @BallsBalls420 said, "Twitter is already a cesspool of bad takes and racism, so I don't expect much to change. Balls." Others were more enthusiastic about the move. "I think it's a great idea. If it keeps him from taking over other companies and ruining them, it's a win for everyone," said Senior Vice President of Tesla Robert Bulgogi.

After the move remaining Twitter employees would be let go except for one employee who would be responsible for bathing Musk.

 

Related News

Twitter Unveils New Premium Accounts

Half-Life 2 Physics Engine Contains Grand Unified Theory

Valve Rolls Out TF2 Style Achievments for Employees

 
 
Follow on Twitter Follow Us on Twitter
Facebook Fan Us on Facebook
Amazon Find the BBook

 

  Politics Contact FAQs
A
D

Copyright 1999-2023 by BBspot LLC
BBspot is a tech satire news and geek humor source, and meant to be funny.
If you are easily offended, gullible, or don't have a sense of humor, we suggest you go elsewhere. Those without the geek gene activated should also avoid this site.