Top 11
Top 11 Things Geeks Would Do After Being Rescued from a Mine
How White and Nerdy Are You?
Bush Proposes Faith- Based Firewalls for Government Computers
Microsoft Purchases Evil From Satan
Slashdot Story Generator
Which OS Are You?
Teen Using MySpace to Lure Bands to Los Angeles
The BBook of Geek
Mental Floss
Geek Press
Wil Wheaton
Jonathan Coulton
Jokes Gallery
Funny Pictures
More Links

Tuesday, November 5 12:01 AM EDT

Yahoo Erotica Editor Fired for Excessive Programming

By Reinhard Gantar

Sunnyvale, CA - Fred Munk yesterday lost his job for excessive perl programming. Munk was hired for categorization and review of links to pornographic websites for Yahoo's Erotica department. He allegedly spent more time programming perl-scripts than looking for porn.

"He was fired for gross laziness" reports Diane Vice, Yahoo's Director of Consumer Porn. "I mean, it's okay to use company resources for fun stuff for fifteen minutes after lunch, to stimulate digestion by whipping up some nifty regular expression or obfuscating the break-condition in a for-loop, but this Munk-guy has a serious productivity problem. I told him get some professional help, but Fred didn't listen and continued to churn out code during work hours -- compulsively, obsessively, just sick!"

Munk responded, "I'd be pounding out some hot code and then the boss would come by and I'd have to quickly switch to Jenna Jameson taking it from behind. I needed quick fingers, but I wasn't quick enough. She kept catching me with Emacs open."

Munk contends that his programming was for the good of Yahoo, and that surfing porn was a "snoozefest. The first hacker's rule is: Don't waste your time with boring stuff. And what's more depressing and pathetic than browsing through tits, legs, twats and kink all day? Nothing gets me more excited than shooting out lines of code."

Vice suggested Munk spend less time coding back ends and more time looking at them several times during his tenure. "He wouldn't listen. Finally, I had security check his hard drive and there were megs upon megs of perl code - search functions, text parsers, it was sickening. That was the last straw, we don't need perl divers in the Erotica category we need muff divers. Adios Mr. Munk."

Related News

Which Website Are You?

Yahoo! Category Quiz

Obtaining Porn Not Challenging Enough for Kids

Yahoo's employee counselor noticed such coding is a common problem among Yahoo editors; the porn-department in particular is seeing a lot of clandestine programming. "People are becoming distracted from their work by all the open source crap on the web. The number of mods has been exploding, and those unscrupulous zealots are promoting their hacks aggressively. Sometimes a typo is enough to get you hooked -- if you want to check on the latest kink on, for example, and forget the 's', you end up at, and banner-ads for all sorts of geeky stuff jump right into your face -- I mean, what's a young dude supposed to do?"

When confronted with this statement, Vice promised to set up an encounter-group and mailing list for employees affected by compulsive/obsessive programming-disorder. "I want our employees to have a place to turn to whenever they feel the urge to start vi or emacs. This is simple, and it worked out pretty well for A.A. We are a first-class employer who cares for our staff."

More Tech News

Recommend this Story to a Friend

Follow on Twitter Follow Us on Twitter
Facebook Fan Us on Facebook
Amazon Find the BBook


  Politics Contact FAQs

Copyright 1999-2023 by BBspot LLC
BBspot is a tech satire news and geek humor source, and meant to be funny.
If you are easily offended, gullible, or don't have a sense of humor, we suggest you go elsewhere. Those without the geek gene activated should also avoid this site.