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Wednesday, June 11 12:01 AM EST

BBspot Mailbag

Now you too can enjoy my Inbox without the annoying spam. Every week I get some amazing e-mail. Some amazing because of the sheer cluelessness of the sender, some because of the time and energy that went into crafting them and some are just simply amazing.


Many people came out in support of the Universal Time Zone. This guy isn't so sure what to make of it, but he sure is polite...

From: James
Sent: Monday, June 09, 2003 12:29 PM
To: ''
Subject: Bush's UTZ

Mr. Briggs,

I must say this was very funny, however, I would like to know if there is any more to this fictitous story. I have a feeling im missing the punch line unless its just that Bush is an idiot. But, if you claim this article true, could you please refer me to your source of information for further reading?

Thank you, James

Yes, James, there is a Universal Time Zone. You also might want to check out the news about the Vice-president.

The Matrix rip-off article bags another one...

Sent: Wednesday, June 04, 2003 6:24 PM
Subject: Matrix article

I totally don't get your article about the Matrix Reloaded ripping off the original Matrix movie. Reloaded "is" a sequel to the Matrix. It "is" a Matrix 2 movie. It just doesn't use the boring sequel name of adding a 2 to the end of the original name. There are a ton of movie sequels that do this..... That said, of course there are going to be a ton of similarities to the original. It is the sequel and should have the same look and feel. I love it and am looking forward to the next Matrix movie......


Thank you very much for the explanation. <smacks forehead>

A TiVo fan wonders if the new TiVoGAL feature uses language that is age appropriate....

Tivo actually sends a message that uses the word . . . "lard-ass" on screen?

Be careful you might choke on the irony in this next message board post from a bunch of angry Shakira fans who didn't quite appreciate the humor in the Shakira's ass story or the accompanying Top 11 list...

i agree!! they are so stupid and have no life!!

You're absolutely correct. I have no life. A much better use of my time would be to post on a Shakira message board?

Made in Canada

I thought all hard drives were manufactured in southeast Asia...

From: Jason Wallwork
Sent: Thursday, June 05, 2003 9:15 AM
Subject: SCSI drive nationality (see attachment)

Not only do I have a new SCSI hard drive, but it's clearly Canadian ;-)


Version: 3.12
GAT dpu s:+ a C++++ UL P L++ E--- W+++ N+ o-- K- w
O M- V-- PS++ PE- Y+ PGP t++ 5+++ X+ R tv+ b++ DI+ D+
G e h--- r+++ y+++

The nice thing is that Canadian hard drives have a higher alcohol percentage.

Which OS is the Matrix?

I'm not sure this three week debate about which OS the matrix is running will ever end.

Yet another OS is suggested...

From: Nicos
Sent: Saturday, June 07, 2003 8:02 AM
Subject: What OS is The Matrix?

To me, it is clear the The Matrix must be PalmOS. It serves its purpose, does wonders with limited memory and has to be reset every so often by pushing a button buried deep inside the machine.

Sounds logical to me.

Now some arguments about why the Matrix couldn't be OS 9 or X...

From: Dominic
Sent: Friday, June 06, 2003 12:40 PM
Subject: rebuttal...Reasons the Matrix is NOT a Mac OS 9.x or X

1) Originality. It is well known that the current incarnations of the Mac OS (from v6.x +) had a graphic and "click through" interface long before windows, and it was stated that the current Matrix is not original, but a copy of someone else's work.

2) Accessibility. It took Neo a few days to be up and running into the Matrix after he "bought it," where as you can be in the Mac OS in less than 5 minutes out of the box. Neo had to eat a pill, chase a rabbit, and had a hole drilled in his head in order to use the matrix, not that much different than most Windows installation manuals, I might add.

3) Ease of use. In order for Neo to "be ready" to even think of entering the matrix, he needed a ton of supplemental software installed and had to complete hours upon hours of training, and even yet had problems jumping from roof to roof. Mac's come ready loaded with free software (word processing/office suite, photo management, movie making, dvd burning, cd-r burning/ripping, calendars, games, etc...) preinstalled ready to use, at no extra charge, and free minor upgrading, and discounted major upgrades.

4) Cross platform capabilities. A Mac OS can read and write to any PC based file, and with the right software (Virtual PC, SoftWindows, Citrix, etc) can successfully run any application ever written. All software for the Matrix has to meet very detailed specs.

and finally...

5) Steady Improvements. Every release of the Mac OS since v6.0-10.2 has shown steady improvement over it's predecessor, adding new features, making things easier to understand. When something goes wrong, there is a update available very quickly, you even sometimes know ahead of time with something not living up to it's hype or temporary incompatibilities. The Matrix:Reloaded just stinks compared to it's original

Another convincing case for a Microsoft OS...

From: Yousef
Sent: Thursday, June 05, 2003 4:34 AM
Subject: The Matrix uses a Microsoft OS

I think the matrix uses a Microsoft OS for the following reasons:

1) The matrix "world" idea was created 2 centuries ago in the real world and the matrix creator just stole the design.
2) Only a software that is freed from the matrix control (agent smith) can
use fork ()
3) The matrix tries keep its alternative weak but don't wanna destroy it completely.
4) It is very problematic to delete programs that came with the matrix.

Looks like most evidence points to Microsoft...

From: scissorjammer
Sent: Wednesday, June 04, 2003 6:09 PM
Subject: The Matrix Mailbag

It was obvious that the matrix had better telephony support than any version of windows, except you still can notice users of the telephony system show a unique look of pain on their face as they pick up the phone, which is often what happens when one tries to pick up the phone in Windows.

Now here's some mailbag-on-mailbag crime....

From: scott
Sent: Wednesday, June 04, 2003 9:00 AM
Subject: Matrix OS

I thought that Valahn mentioned something quite worthy of note.

"Zion, being the last human city actual consists of the descendants of Linux users and programmers who refused to buy windows VR and like to live deep in the ground where the sky cant hurt them."

Much like their parents' basement.

Too much Matrix?

And finally a couple messages from people who've seen The Matrix a few too many times...

From: xxxxxxxxx
Sent: Monday, June 09, 2003 7:33 AM
Subject: You buffoon!
Importance: Low

"It's great that your girlfriend likes The Matrix Reloaded, but I don't think she's gonna appreciate your suggestion that she wear tight black leather and change her name to Trinity."

It's not leather, it's vinyl, you tit! You've made the same =elementary= mistake as the vast majority of simpletons commenting on the coolness of the clothing materials in the movie. One would have hoped that the knowledgeable proprietor of a pre-eminent nerd humor site would have been more prudent in such an important matter...

Ascertaining the differences in appearance and use of leather, latex and PVC as well as their occurrences in the Matrix movies is left as a pleasant exercise to the reader.

I am ashamed.

This last one is, well, BIZARRE!

Sent: Saturday, June 07, 2003 9:06 PM
Subject: Why did I become IBM & Microsoft "experiment" ? Why don't they dare to sue me in the US ?



    I was the first one who promoted virtual enterprise here. They didn't want me have a real life.

They bring me their subliminal torture game. Monitor my speech pattern, twist to fight against me. Annoy me with their midnight anchor calls. Making me live as a paranoia, of course I have no evidence. They are using "environmental signal" - very skillful and systematic - to alter my fate. How can I tell I have been chosen as an experiment to testify the fortune teller ? How can I tell I am being projected ? How can I tell they are killing me ? How can I tell it is "in and out" or "rapport and project" or "MKULTRA" ? No. I am already too lucky not to perceive as a God.

I really want to know who initiate the "Chaos experiment", what covert business did IBM, MICROSOFT, MOTOROLA and ORANGE betting on me ( very important clue ). I really want to know what would happen without my tape and mail. I NEED YOUR WITNESSES.

Where do you want to go to date me ?
Serial killer manufacturer ?
Serial Monica manufacturer ?
Why are you related to the fishing game ?
Can you draw a complete outdated map of all "experiments" ?
I will be happy to stand and fight !

That's all for this week!

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