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Thursday, June 17 12:00 AM ET

Computer Hackers Launch
Enhancement of Service Attack

By The Voice of Reason

Uzbekistan - A group naming themselves The God Fearing Computer Hackers of Uzbekistan announced today that they were behind the Enhancement of Service Attack launched on the web site, yesterday.

During the attack, which lasted 65 minutes, users were able to click straight through to the required page, without needing to wait for the page to load.

Engineers at Microsoft deny the attack took place, claiming it was the superiority of a new patch being tested which 'did the trick', but were unable to explain why the performance of the web site slowed to normal levels after the alleged attack took place.

We were immediately contacted by our politically diverse world band of web users who told us the following:

"I did a search on the Microsoft website and for a moment thought I was accidentally using Google, I had to make myself a cup of tea," said a member of Silver Surfers Against Web Speed

"I was about to say how amazed I was at Microsoft's web site but then I realised what was going on," said a member of the militant Intifada on Microsoft group who is holding our pet dog hostage until this story is released

"It was impressive while it lasted," said a member of the Jews Against Microsoft group

A spokesman from the TGFCHU told us the following, he was wearing an orange sash:

"Hackers have gotten a bad name in recent years - we are hoping to redress that balance. Why just have Denial of Service attacks? We say why not Enhancement of Service Attacks? Now we have tested it on Microsoft we will be turning our attention to other, worthy, web sites. We say: let's make the web a faster more productive place - if we can do that with a Microsoft web site then there is nothing we can't improve."

Related News

FBI Unable to Crack Hacker code

Hacker Claims Credit for XP.BSOD Virus

Hackers Deman Benefits

The group also claims to be working on a virus which solves outstanding bugs in XP Professional, set to be launched soon. A spokesman told us:

"Viruses and trojans don't need to do just bad things, they can be used as a force for good in the internet community."

Story used with permission from our fine friends at The Voice of Reason.

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