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Thursday, January 15 12:01 AM EST

Intel Unveils Coffee Nanoprocessors

By Francisco Rangel

San Jose, Costa Rica - Intel announced that it will join forces with a Costa Rican coffee exporting company, Café Britt, to produce a coffee-nanoprocessor hybrid, to increase productivity among computer engineers and other coffee addicts.

Intel Inside"We got the idea after we set up a processor manufacturing plant in Costa Rica," explained Intel representative, Gerald Meyers. "We had to choose a country in which to build the plant, and when the Costa Rican government offered management a year's supply of coffee we couldn't refuse. We loved the coffee so much, we wanted to incorporate it into our technology. However, our Coffee-Powered processors didn't work too well, so we went the other way around and incorporated our technology into their coffee."

The idea behind Pentium Coffee is simple. Nanoprocessors are mixed in with the coffee, and swallowed by the consumer. These microprocessors enter the bloodstream, travel around the body, and linked to the nervous system. These nanoprocessors aid the brain by performing complex mathematical operations. The processor’s perfomance is measured in CAFS (Complex Arithmetic Functions).

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Production is expected to begin in late June, when the developers' coffee-induced hyperactivity is expected to calm down. The coffee will be sold in anti-static plastic bags, and will come in three different flavors: Regular (100 Teracafs), MMX (200 Teracafs), and Celeron (50 Teracafs).

ATI has also announced that it will pair up with Folgers to produce Radeon-coffee hybrids to help with mental image processing.

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