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Monday, March 29 12:00 AM EST

NASA Sends Rover to Marketing Department

By Jason Simpson

Pasadena, CA - NASA today announced that, in an attempt to further obey their thirst for knowledge, they have launched their latest rover, Sprite, which will explore the marketing department of a large software company currently believed to be devoid of any intelligent life.

Sprite Rover"Initially we just sent it in search of water," said NASA team leader Mark Schoenberg. "But as the rover approached the water cooler, its audio sensors began to detect a very distinct 'buzz' sound." For Schoenberg, this surreal buzz encountered by the small rover at the foot of the looming, obelisk-like water cooler seemed to evoke images of 2001: A Space Odyssey.

Schoenberg and his team at first believed this buzzing sound was a way in which living creatures in the marketing department communicate with one another. However, these communications, or "buzz words", according to several accomplished linguists collaborating with the NASA team, are riddled with semantic ambiguity and create an extremely hostile environment for communication.

"Unfortunately, because of these findings," Schoenberg said, "we are forced to conclude it is highly unlikely that any intelligent life could exist in the marketing department."

This news comes on the heels of Sprite's recovery from near total disaster. For a short period of time last week, the Sprite Rover had lost the ability to communicate with NASA scientists back at base. This problem was solved in part by "pinging" the rover to diagnose connectivity issues. Schoenberg, explaining this pinging procedure, said, "It involves asking the rover 'Can you hear me now?' repeatedly. The rover replied that it could hear us, and that was good."

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Employees in other departments of the company are watching this mission very closely. Ranjit Meni, in the engineering department, is openly skeptical of the initial findings. "I think I've received an email from someone there once." said Meni. After several searches of his mail folders, Meni was unable to produce any such emails.

He also claims that he's seen conference rooms reserved for their meetings, but admits he's never actually seen such a meeting. Meni hangs an "I Want To Believe" poster in his office.

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