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Friday, January 16 12:01 AM EST

BBspot Trailer Awards

By Brian Briggs

It was the year of The Return of the King, X Men 2 and Pokémon Heroes. It was 2003 and now it is January 2004, the time of year when no good trailers premiere so we have to fill it up with silly awards for the trailers that were reviewed last year. We reviewed twenty-four trailers last year. I'd love to give each of them an award, but some were so average that it would be impossible.

Worst Trailer of the Year

The nominees are...

Tears of the Sun - "I'm sure you'll all be relieved that Tears of the Sun doesn't feature Colin Farrell or Ben Affleck. Though, after viewing this trailer you might be wishing that it did."

Pokémon Heroes - "...from a director who was "chief rigging electrician" on Zoolander, comes the fifth Pokémon movie that's so bad it's guaranteed to drive you insane."

Underworld - "We're not subtly reminded of other films. They're forcibly inserted into our frontal lobe like a reverse-lobotomy."

The Cat in the Hat - "This trailer is not funny. It does not make me want to see the movie. This trailer has cost this economy three million jobs. This trailer is a miserable failure."

Timeline - "Too bad they couldn’t go back in time and make a good movie."

And the Spottie for Worst Trailer of the Year goes to...

The Cat in the Hat

At least Pokémon Heroes made me laugh unintentionally.

Best Trailer Featuring Colin Farrell and the Eyebrow of Power™

The nominees are:

Daredevil - Colin had a small role in this trailer based on a comic book superhero. Jennifer Garner helps this trailer out a lot.

The Recruit - Colin plays an athletic super genius (yeah, I know, that kills the believability right there) in this generic action trailer. Al Pacino saves it from being dreadful.

S.W.A.T. - Colin plays a renegade S.W.A.T. stud (yeah, I know, that kills the believability right there) in this generic action trailer. Good music and Mace Windu save it from being dreadful.

Phone Booth - Colin plays a slimy, annoying philanderer (finally a role we can imagine him in). Interesting concept, but not Colin's just too annoying to make it any good.

The Spottie goes to...


It was hard to decide, but I think the trailer that was the best was the one that featured Colin the least, imagine that.

Best Trailer Based on a Comic Book or Video Game

The nominees are...

Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life - There were only two very good reasons to see this trailer.

LXG - Indiana Jones meets the X-Men.

The Hulk - Set the gold standard for most cuts in a trailer.

X-Men 2 - Went through so many name changes it almost got three nominations.

Daredevil - Could it be the first two Spottie winner?

And the Spottie goes to...

X-Men 2:United X

Not much competition in this category. X-Men was the clear winner.

Best Trailer of the Year

The nominees are...

X-Men 2 - This trailer did a good job introducing a lot of characters.

A Mighty Wind - Hilarious trailer that left me wanting to see the movie.

The Matrix Revolutions - Great special effects and ominous overtones made this one to remember.

The Return of the King - I did not think that I could want to see this movie more, but this trailer did that to me.

And the Spottie for Best Trailer of the Year goes to...

The Return of the King

Great music, effects, story. This one had it all. No one else really had a chance.

Final Thoughts

It was a good year for trailers with lots of geeky movies hitting the screens: The Matrices, The Return of the King and all the comic book fare. Nothing like that is on schedule for 2004, so we will just have to hope for some surprises or maybe another Pokémon sequel.

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